I've been watching all the non-stop media coverage of Katrina and frankly I'd seen enough after 5 minutes to realize that a hurricane had hit New Orleans and the place was pretty much wiped out. However, the media thinks we're all dumb as a mud fence so they have to keep ramming this stuff down out throats around the clock.
During all that coverage a very simple thought occurred to me. Rather than listening to the media keep questioning the response to the storm.... how about the next time a major U.S. city is wiped out... we simply put the media in charge of the response efforts! It's the most obvious and most perfect solution.
At every turn the media constantly questions the type of assistance, the level of assistance, the timing of the assistance and the delivery of the assistance. It's as if they are reading off the play sheet and pointing out all the errors being made by the responders. They have pointed out that the city had no responsibility for taking care of it's own citizens. They don't seem to think that the state of Louisiana bears much responsibility either. IF anything is to be done to help the people of Louisiana and those of New Orleans then it seems to all fall on the shoulders of the Federal Government.
We take you now to the future. We're watching the CBS-BS evening news as they detail the approach of a catagory 4 hurricane to the east coast of Florida. Suddenly there is a disturbance off camera then uniformed troops surround the anchor. A neat looking man in a well tailored suit arrives. "Sir! I'm from FEMA and I'm here to relieve you."
"What the hell are you talking about? I'm right in the middle of the news!"
"We know sir, so if you'll just get up I'll take over and you can be on your way." says the man in the suit.
"Take over? Be on my way where for God sake?" asks the anchor.
"Be on your way to FEMA headquarters of course. Your helicopter is waiting in the parking lot right now." repliies the suit.
"Why in the hell would I want to go to FEMA Headquarters? There is a hurricane heading for Florida and that's big news. I can't leave now!" says the anchor.
"Exactly! The President was so impressed with your network's knowledge of what should have been done after Katrina hit Louisiana that he just signed an executive order placing CBS-BS in total charge of the disaster relief efforts. You're now in charge of FEMA!" smiles the suit.
"But.... I'm a news anchor! I don't know anything about disaster relief or what to do." says the anchor as two large uniformed troops lift him from his well padded chair.
"Boy! You sure had us fooled then. From the way you guys ripped our asses over Katrina we all figured that you guys were all experts in everything from logistics to improvised engineering solutions." the suit replied as he settled into the chair and glanced at the stack of news notes on the desk.
The anchor was still screaming as the troops escorted him and every member of CBS-BS management out of the building and onto the waiting helicopters. The suit looked up at the unblinking eye of the camera and began....
"As the hurricane bears down on the coast of Florida everyone is wondering if the response from FEMA will be any more effective now than it was for Katrina...."
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